Failed Proposals
by Kat-Knife
Summary: A sirius conversation between Sirius Black and James Potter regarding their daily lives. Who are we kidding, when are James and Sirius ever sirius? A humorous conversation between Sirius Black and James Potter, regarding failed marriage proposals and disappearing children. Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition round 9.


"Sirius!" James Potter yelled in mock horror, clutching one hand to his chest, his eyes lowered in a half swoon, "I thought you said we would go out to celebrate tonight!"

Sirius Black scowled half-heartedly at his best friend and then threw an empty wrapper at his head.

The two men were in a claustrophobic, dirt hewn room, hiding in one of the safe rooms while they waited for the scores of Death Eaters frantically searching for them to leave. James Potter was teasing Sirius Black mercilessly for his failure to propose to his longtime girlfriend, Marlene, the third time this week.

"I was going to do it tonight, but then when I finally got the courage to ask her the doorbell rang and guess who just had to ruin the perfect moment, her mother!" Sirius grumbled angrily, propped up against the wall, healing the minor scratches and bruises on his body.

"Why was her mother there?" James asked curiously, a smirk still lingering on his face.

"I don't now!" Sirius threw up his hands in exasperation, "The old crone seems bent on making sure that I never propose to her daughter. Whenever I am ready to get on one knee and just ask Marlene, her mother pops up from nowhere and drags Marlene off to another charity event for the poor orphans of Kalimazoo or the dung beetles of Russia!"

His best friend chuckled at Sirius's description and the rather put out expression on his face, "I don't think that there are any orphans in Kalimazoo because it doesn't exist in the first place and also, dung beetles live in Africa, not Russia."

"Like that matters." Sirius muttered moodily.

"How about this, you and Marlene come over for a nice, relaxing meal at Potter Manor next week? You can propose there and that way you can keep your harpy of a mother-in-law away." James said brightly, stroking his non-existent beard in a poor imitation of Dumbledore, "You shall go far if you listen to what I say my boy." He continued on, drooping his shoulders and deepening his voice to the raspy tones of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Sirius cracked a reluctant smile at that and joined in the farce, "I have lived many centuries and seen many evils, the most horrific of which is the face of one James Potter when he first rolls out of bed."

James gave him a black look and then scoffed, "Please, I am as fresh as a daisy in the morning, you're the idiot who gets out of bed with his hair rumpled every which way and morning breath!"

"I have perfected the art of _carefully _rumpled hair." Sirius said seriously, "The ladies love a man who looks rugged when he gets out of bed."

"What ladies?" James asked teasingly, "Have you been cheating on Marlene?"

"Yes," Sirius admitted with a long suffering sigh, "I have been having a secret and sordid affair with Professor McGonagall."

James burst out laughing at that, doubling over onto the floor, his face beginning to turn purple as he laughed.

"We are very much in love." Sirius continued, a solemn expression on his face, "I fell in love with the strict wrinkles around her eyes and the way glares at misbehaving students. Oh, it just makes my heart flutter!"

James had fallen to the ground now and was taking in gasping breaths, his face a tomato red.

Looking over at his friend, Sirius broke his monologue and started laughing along with him.

A minute later, both men sat up on the floor, their laughter subsiding into companionable silence.

"So what do you think of my idea?" James finally asked, turning to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, it sounds like it could work, unless Marlene's mother hears wind of it and decides to invite herself along." Sirius said distastefully.

"We'll tell her that it's a special occasion and we only want to have our closest friends available." James helpfully piped up.

"What special occasion?" Sirius asked blankly.

"Our anniversary." James said rolling his eyes at the short term memory of his friend.

"Your _anniversary_?" Sirius yelped in panic, "It's already been three years?"

"Yup." James grinned, a soft look entering his eyes as he remembered his wedding day and the white vision his red-headed bride had looked.

"Congratulations." Sirius remarked happily. The two men fell into silence once again as they reminisced old memories.

"How is Harry doing since the last time I saw him?" Sirius said finally, his face breaking into a goofy smile as he remembered his favorite godson.

"Creating trouble." James said fondly, "He managed to disappear for one whole afternoon one day and, of course, Lily and I panicked and started running around calling for him. We had all the house elves checking every shrub and stone around the Manor before we finally found him on top of the roof, asleep."

Sirius beamed at the picture that a chubby Harry must have made as he slept on the viridian roof of the cheerful Potter Manor.

"Little tyke, isn't he?" Sirius affectionately.

"Takes after his father and uncles." James said with a sappy smile.

"Speaking of his uncles, where are Remus and Peter?" Sirius asked James.

"Last I heard, Remus was still on that super-secret mission of his for Dumbledore and Peter was visiting his sick mother in Canterbury." James patiently remarked.

"Well. I hope that they get back soon." Sirius declared, "I want them to be there when I propose to Marlene."

"What, you want to rub it in their faces that you finally found someone that can actually stand you?" James said jokingly.

"No, I want them to be there when I tell them that I am marrying Marlene _and_ that she's pregnant."

"_What_!?" James screeched, his eyes wide.

"Yup, Marlene's pregnant!" Sirius beamed at his friend, his eyes glowing with happiness.

"Congratulations!" James jumped up to embrace him, excited by the prospect of a nephew or a niece.

"Thank you," Sirius said happily "I want Remus to be the godfather so I want to wait until he gets back to tell him."

"That sounds wonderful." James breathed out before a mischievous lint lit his eyes, "Just wait until Marlene becomes huge; you'll be begging me for advice!"

A low rumble sounded overhead before the ceiling crashed inward, almost clipping James head.

"Come on, let's go!" Sirius yelled to James, grabbing his arm and pulling him along.

"This discussion isn't over yet. I have yet to finish gloating!" James yelled behind him as the two men dodged falling debris.

"Don't worry, you have all the time in the world to gloat!" Sirius shouted ahead of him and they did, they had eternity.


End file.
